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This year marks a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. At the time, the idea that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more bewildering – an commonly unsuccessful endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated attack on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive guide to the words gen Z is using to talk about romance, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ideal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reaction is interested or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means choosing someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes partners who forgo having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks indicating a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits validate your choice to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same things or people that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly shut down any sense of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic display.

J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {